Snack

The walls outside my door cry tears for the heat that crashes against their skin, the cold they contain too  afraid to show love for warm hugs in any other way. The rotting bars they are betray the corpse that  grows and sinks in the body of my being.  

I am done.  

These flying hands and one-night kisses are promises of a different kind: they only last as long as you are  in front of me. With your words as shields and yours eyes hunger pangs for a body I no longer know how  to love. My thigh is flaking skin and I am a poorer Pennywise for it - I have never scared men away rather  called them closer. To touch, to tear, to use like pin pages in a notebook that you give to a friend in secret  when the teacher isn't looking and say, “Here. I know a guy who'll help you relax. Don't worry about him,  he'll do anything you tell him. He's desperate and lonely that way.” 

I am done with ASL and role and likes. These funeral pyres of ghosting touches are the ashing curls of a rose. Passion could never match my red lips top and bottom. I, a man, know how a woman feels, pulling  the nape of my t-shirt over the strands of my undershirt as the kirana wala licks his lips. How the way I  walk makes my messenger bag sway, and I keep its sling as long as my knee: at least one side is hidden.  These views and worlds are things my mothers and sisters bore when they didn't have a choice of body  

and I bear because I wore my love like a beacon on my chest.  

So come moths, come with your dusty limbs and shameless eyes let me be the bonfire you mistake for a  light bulb and help you burn in your ferocity. Trust me, your pictures, these bleeding lies of cheaters and  liars love their way of reaching your wife's hands. 

Darlings, sweeties, sweethearts, loves, listen when I say that men in my world are just along for the ride  and riding, trust me there is no glamour in what I did. Slut hood is defined by the men that claimed  graveyards with each shovel and pale, and I refuse to let these plantations of self-hatred grow any longer.  

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